Commissioned by Wesley Warnhoff to be premiered at the Mizzou International Composers Festival in 2018, Vanishing, for clarinet and fixed media audio and video, is a nostalgic lament in three short parts performed continuously. As most emotions tend to show a different surface, the lament begins with a cathartic, stream-of-consciousness monologue in which I recorded excerpts taken from Argentinian writer Julio Cortazar’s 1963 book Rayuela (Hopscotch). The excerpts belong to the chapter titled Letter from La Maga to Baby Rocamadeaur. In it, a mother (La Maga) explains her baby (who, obviously cannot read or understand the letter yet) the reasons why she neglects him. She assures him that he would probably support her in the way she acts and in the decisions she takes to put herself and her vocational call beyond everything, including him. As she continues to carve down her emotions the work transitions into pure music, and the video becomes more realistic picturing specific moments of similar contradictory nature.